Tears in Heaven
by YanksLuver
Summary: Tragedy strikes Robin and Patrick's family.


**Title**: Tears in Heaven  
**Author**: Steph  
**Rating**: PG

**Pairing**: Robin/Patrick  
**Category**: Drama  
**Disclaimer**: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.  
**Spoilers**: Nope.  
**Summary**: Tragedy strikes Robin and Patrick's family.

**Note**: For anyone still reading The List, I have a bunch of chapters done, I just need to post them. I have trouble uploading on this site sometimes and then I forget to come back and load them. Anyway, here comes a tearjerker! Please let me know what you thought! -Steph

**--- Tears in Heaven: Part 1 ---**

If you've ever spoken to anyone who's lost someone unexpectedly, they'll usually tell you the same thing: The hardest part was they never saw it coming.

You can never really be prepared for losing someone you love, but when it happens out of nowhere it's like getting hit by a train that appeared out of thin air. It's like having the wind knocked out of you by some unseen force.

They all say the same thing. It was an ordinary day. A day like any other. The sun rose up into the sky. They went about their day. It was routine, mundane. The kind of day we all take for granted because it's like every other. There was nothing special or different about it.

Until that moment that changes everything.

And, suddenly, that ordinary day becomes one that will be forever branded in your memory. Little things you would normally forget by the next sunrise become imprinted on your mind.

You needed to get milk. You left wet towels in the washer. You had to go to the bank.

They stick in your mind, all pieces of a day that will, from that moment on, be forever known as the worst day of your life.

And it began like any other.

---

Robin felt the warm sun bathing her face. She scrunched her nose and squeezed her eyes closed, as she covered her face with her hands. Five more minutes, her mind screamed.

But if she wouldn't wake to the sun, her alarm clock would make sure it got the job done, blaring a moment later. She groaned, as her hand darted out and slammed the 'off' button.

As much as she hated waking up in the morning, there was always one thing that she looked forward to. One thing that was her incentive.

She loved waking up to his face.

She slowly opened her eyes, a smile creeping across her lips in anticipation of his gorgeous face greeting her.

Instead, her brow furrowed, as she was met with two pairs of tiny feet. The smile reappeared, as her eyes moved from the feet downward and she saw the sleeping forms of her son and daughter. They must have crawled into bed with them at some point last night.

She raised her head up on her elbow and peeked over their feet. And then she was met with the sight she had been waiting for.

He smiled, his dimple showing and his brown eyes warm as they met hers.

"Morning, baby," he said, his voice husky with sleep.

Robin's smile only widened. "Morning, Patrick."

He raised himself up and leaned over their children's feet to place a soft kiss on her lips. He then pulled back and glanced down at the kids.

"We need to start locking that door."

Robin chuckled. "Aw, I think it's sweet. They won't want to come in our bed much longer."

Patrick raised an eyebrow, grinning, "You won't think it's sweet if they interrupt us doing adult things and end up in therapy for the rest of their lives."

Robin smiled. "You have a point."

She glanced down at Mattie and Robbie. Mattie, at seven, had long, brown hair like Robin's, the same chocolate eyes, and her nose. She had her father's dimple and smile, as did her brother. Robbie, at five, also had Patrick's dark hair and his warm, brown eyes. He was the spitting image of Patrick, except for a few freckles around his nose from his mother.

Their personalities were another story. Mattie was stubborn like both her parents, but had the patience and compassion of Robin. Robbie was easy-going, carefree, and spontaneous, like his father. Mattie was high-strung and too smart for her own good, but also open and accepting of everyone (except her brother, of course!). Robbie though easy-going, could hold a grudge like no one else if he was hurt badly enough.

Robin and Patrick always marveled at how different the children were from one another, but how much of themselves they could see in them. They were constantly overwhelmed by the thought that their love had created these two little miracles.

And they were certainly miracles. Robin and Patrick had planned carefully, weighing their options and taking measures to ensure that the risk of the children contracting HIV was at the barest minimum.

They had been blessed. The children were born healthy and their parents thanked God everyday for that.

Robin reached over their legs and found Patrick's hand, entwining their fingers, as their eyes met and held. The little feet before them began to twitch and wiggle. They moved their gazes down the bed, as two pairs of eyes popped open.

Robbie immediately sat up, while Mattie rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Morning!" Robbie said, as he lunged at his father.

Patrick laughed, as the little boy collided with his chest. His tiny arms snaked around his father's neck and Patrick wrapped his arms around his small form.

"Good morning, Robbie," he said with a smile.

Mattie slowly sat up. She was not a morning person. Her parents usually had to drag her out of bed in order to get her to school on time.

"Morning," she said flatly, her lips curving downward.

Robin smiled. "Good morning, sweetheart." She then tilted her head. "What made you two join us last night?"

Mattie pointed at Robbie. "He came into my room and said there was a monster in his closet. I told him that was stupid, but he wouldn't go back to his room."

Patrick looked down at Robbie. "I thought we solved that problem. Remember, I put the Monster-inator in there. It scares all monsters away."

The Monster-inator was actually just a flashlight that Patrick had stuck a green bulb in. He turned it on, stuck it in the closet, and told Robbie that monsters were scared off by its Super Green Beam.

"The Super Green Beam died," Robbie whispered, as he touched his nose to his father's.

Patrick sighed. It must need new batteries. "Oh, well, it just needs to recharge and build up more power. I'll fix it for you."

Mattie looked at Robin. "Mom, did you make the cupcakes for my Girl Scouts' meeting today? It's my turn to bring the snack."

Robin's mouth dropped open. She had completely forgotten and Mattie hadn't bothered to remind her. She'd worked a double shift at the hospital last night and making cupcakes didn't exactly jump to the forefront of her mind when she dragged her weary body into the house late last night and collapsed in her husband's arms.

"Mattie, I'm sorry, I forgot. Mommy's really busy. Maybe next time you can remind me or tell your father."

Mattie's eyes narrowed. "But, Mom, it's my turn! What am I supposed to do now?!"

Patrick rolled his eyes, as their daughter behaved as if the world were coming to an end. She could be quite a drama queen.

He shrugged. "There's an unopened package of Oreos downstairs."

Mattie turned to look at him, her mouth dropping opening and her eyes widening, as if he just suggested she serve feces to her troop.

"Dad!"

"What?"

"All of the other parents make something!"

"Well, all of the other parents don't spend countless hours everyday saving lives," Patrick replied to his daughter sharply. "Your mother and I do the best we can, Mattie."

She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her chin out.

Patrick sighed. "All right. How about I go downstairs and find a better alternative to Oreos?"

Her expression softened ever so slightly. "Okay."

Robin looked at him gratefully. "Thank you."

He smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, before gently tossing Robbie towards the foot of the bed and jumping out of bed.

---

"Here," Patrick said, handing Mattie a huge Ziploc freezer size bag with a brown substance inside and dark pieces dispersed throughout it.

She held it up to her eyes, her nose wrinkling. "What is it?"

"It's called Dirt Pudding."

"What?" she asked.

"It's pudding with cookie pieces in it. I threw some gummy worms in there, too."

Mattie shook her head. "Dad, this looks gross."

"Stop being so picky."

Robin walked into the kitchen, her brow furrowing at the concoction in her daughter's hand.

"You made that?" she asked, looking up at her husband.

Patrick nodded. "More or less." He smiled. "I opened all of the Pudding Snack Packs, poured them into the bag, then threw some crushed Oreos in." He held his hands up, palms spread out. "Voila. Homemade dessert."

Mattie shook her head. "It's in a bag. It looks disgusting. My friends won't eat this."

Robin looked down at her daughter, saying sternly, "I think the response you were looking for was, 'Thank you, Dad, for taking the time to make me something for my troop'."

Mattie sighed and dropped the bag to her side, "Thanks," she muttered. Then she added. "How are we going to eat this? We're supposed to bring whatever it is we need in order to eat it."

Patrick sighed. He then walked to the cabinet over the refrigerator, pulled out a box and walked back over, holding it out to her. Her hands remained by her side, as she stared at the box.

"Straws?"

"Open the bag and slurp till your heart's content."

"That is so gross, Dad!" Mattie said, shaking her head.

Robin laughed, as she moved to the cabinet to the right of the sink. She removed a stack of paper bowls, some napkins, and a box of plastic spoons. She stuck them all in a plastic shopping bag and handed it to her daughter.

"Here you go, honey."

Mattie smiled widely at her mother, then glared back at her father. "Thank you, Mom."

She then sat down at the table for breakfast.

Patrick turned to Robin. "Unbelievable. I save the day by spending a good two to three minutes preparing that delicious dessert and she acts as if I handed her a bag of spiders. You throw some paper goods in a bag and she looks at you like you're a hero."

Robin smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You're my hero."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

---

"You're wearing that to school?" Mattie asked, looking at her brother with arched eyebrows as he took his seat next to her. Mattie's eyebrows looked like upside down V's when she arched them. Patrick always joked she looked like a Jack-o-lantern.

Robin and Patrick turned their attention to their son. They were trying to give him more independence and had begun allowing him to pick out his own clothes. This often led to some rather interesting fashion choices. Last week, he insisted on wearing his Spider-man costume from Halloween everyday to school. Robin had tried to tell him this was inappropriate, but Patrick told her he needed to learn from his mistakes. When his classmates teased him, he would learn to make more appropriate choices. Unfortunately, his classmates thought he was extremely cool and envied the fact that his parents allowed him to dress as if everyday were Halloween.

Today, he'd chosen to wear a red and blue striped shirt with yellow and blue plaid shorts. To really pull the look together, he wore the black magician's cape that came in the magic set he'd gotten last Christmas over his shoulders. Topping it off, were white gloves on his hands.

Robin threw Patrick an icy glare and leaned in close to him, whispering harshly. "Great idea letting him wear whatever he wants, Patrick. He'll be in college and going to classes in a spacesuit."

"How was I supposed to know that he would have the one class in the entire world that would choose to not only accept the weird, different kid, but hail him as a hero? I was counting on the kids being cruel, judgmental, and unaccepting. You know, as God intended them to be."

Robin sighed. "I don't think we need to worry about him walking in on us doing adult things and scarring him for life. He's already looking at years of therapy."

Patrick waved a hand in dismissal. "It's just a phase. It will pass."

"You mean like his 'wearing socks on his hands phase'? Because that lasted eight months."

Mattie shook her head, as she stuck a spoonful of cereal in her mouth and eyed her brother. "You look stupid."

Robbie's head whipped at his parents. "Mattie called me stupid!"

"I didn't call you stupid. I called how you look stupid," she corrected.

Patrick and Robin sometimes forgot she was only seven.

Robin looked at her daughter. "You know we don't use that word in this house."

Mattie laughed. "You call Daddy that all the time."

Patrick grinned and looked at Robin. "She's got a point."

Robin returned his grin. "I don't call Daddy stupid. I call some of the things he says and does stupid."

Mattie tilted her head, "But you're the one who always says that our actions and words make us who we are."

Patrick had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, as he could see Robin's jaw clench. She finally let out a loud sigh. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I shouldn't use that word and neither should you. It's mean and hurtful."

Mattie shrugged and took a sip of her orange juice. She then looked at her father. "You're coming into my class at 10 o'clock today, right, Daddy?"

Patrick's spoon froze in mid-air, as his mouth hung open in anticipation. His eyes widened and he knitted his brow. "What? Why would I be coming into your class?"

Mattie's eyes narrowed at him. "For Career Day. You promised to come and talk to my class."

"When did I promise this?"

"A few weeks ago. You had just gotten home from work and I gave you the sheet of paper where you could sign for the time you wanted. You signed it."

Patrick glanced at Robin for assistance, but she just shrugged. He swallowed hard. He honestly didn't remember reading the damn paper or signing it. Chances are after a long, hard day at the hospital, he was barely conscious when she shoved it in front of his face.

"Mattie, I'm sorry, I don't even remember signing it. I can't do it today. I have a surgery scheduled at that time."

Mattie's face grew red with anger. "So change it!"

Patrick sighed. "I can't. It's already been rescheduled twice."

Mattie's lower lip jutted out and she crossed her arms over her chest. Robin glanced at Patrick, who ran a hand down his face.

"Sweetie, your father is just really busy. He doesn't mean to disappoint you."

"What about you, Mom? Can you come in? I mean, your job's not as cool because you don't dig around in people's brains, but you're better than nothing."

Robin pursed her lips. "As sweet as that invitation was, I'm afraid I can't. My schedule's packed today. I'm sorry, honey."

Mattie shook her head sharply. "It's not fair! All you guys do is work!"

Patrick took a deep breath. "I know it's hard to understand. I had a lot of trouble with it when I was your age, too. I couldn't understand why my father missed Christmas dinner or my Little League games. It took me a long time, but I finally understood that what he did was so much greater than all of that. He saved lives. And that's what your mother and I do everyday. We have very important jobs, Mattie. We make it so people don't lose the people they love. Someday I hope you'll understand that."

As the words slipped past Patrick's lips, he couldn't help the pang that shot through his stomach and neither could his wife. It was a daily struggle worrying about whether they were giving their children everything they deserved. Raising a family while practicing medicine was challenging to say the least. They had to make sacrifices and they knew their children suffered for it. Unfortunately, these two little lapses today were not an uncommon occurrence. It seemed every other day they forgot about something they had promised to do or disappointed their children in some way. They hated failing them. They hated the look they got in their eyes when they had been disappointed.

Just then, the bus pulled up outside and honked. Robbie jumped up from his seat, grabbed his backpack, gave his father a high-five and kissed his mother on the cheek, before running out the door.

"Have a good day, honey!" Robin yelled after him.

They looked over at Mattie. She was moving in slow-motion. She grabbed her plastic bag holding her Girl Scouts' snack, picked up her backpack and then walked over to her mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She brushed past Patrick without even glancing at him. For the first time ever, she left the house without giving him a butterfly kiss right on his nose.

Robin watched as Patrick's face fell and his eyes followed their daughter out the door. He dropped his head and threaded his fingers through his hair. Robin put her arm around his shoulders.

"She'll get over it."

"She shouldn't have to get over it, Robin," he replied softly. "God, there are days when I feel like I can't do anything right with them."

Robin knew how much Patrick wanted to give to their children and she also knew that he was constantly battling the feeling that he was failing them. Robin dealt with the same feelings, but not like he did. It took him a long time to get to the point where he even wanted to have children. He didn't think he would be a good father and didn't want to risk failing them and disappointing them like his father had him. He couldn't stand the thought of that child growing up and resenting him like he had his own father for so many years. He couldn't bear the thought of experiencing that kind of pain again, except on the other side of it this time...as the father.

But he had eventually come around. Robin helped him see that he could be a wonderful father and that he had so much more to give than he realized. She tried to make him understand that it wasn't about being perfect; it was about loving them the best they could. Mending his relationship with his father had also helped to bring about the change.

Still, he struggled with the two aspects of their lives they were forced to balance: their family and their careers. And not a day went by that he didn't feel as if he would never be able to give them what they deserved.

Robin leaned close to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Don't do this to yourself, Patrick. You do the best you can. We both do."

"It's not enough," he whispered, before standing up and walking out of the kitchen.

---

Patrick walked into the nurses' station and took his place beside his wife, who was reading a file.

She looked up and smiled at him. "Hey, how did your last surgery go?"

"Great. I actually finished early," he paused, as his lips curled upward. "And I was thinking if we left right now we could pick the kids up from school and take them out for ice cream at Kelly's before dropping Mattie off for Girl Scouts. I figured I'd do my post-surgical notes at home later. So, how about it? Can you leave a little early today?"

Mattie and Robbie were usually picked up by their baby-sitter, Ashley, after school. She would take them to the library or the park or spend time with them at home. On days when Mattie had Girl Scouts, which started 45 minutes after school got out, she would take them to get ice cream before dropping Mattie off at the Girl Scout leader's house and taking Robbie to the park.

Robin and Patrick almost never got a chance to pick their kids up from school. Their hectic, packed schedules just didn't allow for it.

Robin smiled at Patrick. "I have a consult right now, but it should be quick. I'll try to meet you at the school."

Patrick's eyes lit up and he leaned in for a quick kiss on the lips. "Looking forward to it."

He then spun around and walked away. Robin's eyes followed him.

---

Patrick smiled, as the bell rang and kids started pouring out of the school, like animals just released from captivity. Robbie came running out a moment later, his eyes scanning the crowd of adults in search of Ashley. When his eyes landed on his father instead, a huge smile spread across his lips. He ran towards him and Patrick bent down, picking the little boy up and wrapping his arms around him.

"You came to pick us up!"

Patrick nodded and ran a thumb across his dimple. "I sure did, buddy."

Patrick put Robbie down and then waited for Mattie to emerge. More than five minutes passed until she walked out, the last one to do so. Her head was bowed and she was walking as if all of the energy had been drained from her body. She slowly lifted her head as she neared them, her eyes immediately landing on Patrick as he was the only adult who remained.

Her eyes flashed with unexpected joy for a moment, but she quickly lowered them.

"What are you doing here?" she asked flatly, seemingly addressing her shoes.

Patrick licked at his lips. "I left work early so I could pick you and your brother up. Your mother's meeting us, too. We're going to have ice cream together before we drop you off at Girl Scouts."

Mattie's head snapped up and she set her jaw. "What if I don't want ice cream?"

Patrick shrugged, growing a little annoyed with her attitude. "Then you can sit and watch us all enjoy ours." He paused and then added, "I'm getting chocolate chip cookie dough with rainbow sprinkles."

Mattie's eyes brightened for a moment, as Patrick mentioned her favorite ice cream combination. She then quickly lowered her eyes to the ground and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Aren't you even going to ask how Career Day went?"

Patrick blew out a breath. "How did it go?"

She raised her eyes up and fixed him with a glare that rivaled that of any adult. "The entire class was disappointed. And all the other parents had boring jobs."

Patrick looked down at his daughter. "Mattie, you know if I could have been there I would have. I'm sorry I disappointed you and your classmates. Maybe I can talk to your teacher and arrange another time to talk to your class."

She shook her head and said bitingly, "Career Day is over."

"I know, but-..."

"Just forget it," she replied, again lowering her eyes to the ground.

Patrick ran a hand over his face and sighed. He then looked down at his children. "I guess your mother's running late. I'll call her on the way and tell her to meet us at Kelly's."

Patrick held out his hands, as he began to walk down the sidewalk toward his car that was parked near the corner. Robbie slipped his hand into his, but Mattie simply turned her head away and focused on the street. Patrick rolled his eyes as they neared the car.

"Patrick! Mattie! Robbie!"

All three heads swiveled in the direction of the familiar voice. Smiles spread across their faces at the sight of Robin standing on the other side of the street, waving at them.

Patrick cupped his free hand over his mouth. "We'll just meet you at Kelly's now, okay?"

Robin nodded and yelled back, "Okay, see you there."

"I want to go with Mommy," Mattie said, as she looked up at her father with pleading eyes.

"No, it's a two minute ride to Kelly's. You're going with me."

"No!" Mattie said and crossed her arms over her chest.

Patrick took a step but she wouldn't move.

"Mattie, let's go."

"I'm not going with you!"

Patrick reached down to grab her hand, but she pulled away from him, shaking her head.

"No, I'm going with Mommy!" she said, as she neared the curb and then ran into the street.

Patrick's eyes widened. "Mattie! Come back!"

"Mommy!" Mattie called.

Robin had opened her door to the car which she had parked across from them, but stopped when she saw her daughter running across the street.

The next few moments happened in slow motion. The red car rounded the corner. Patrick could feel his breath catch in his chest, as he caught sight of the car. Robin's eyes landed on the car nearing her daughter and her heart began to pound in her chest.

Robin moved out from behind the door and Patrick let go of Robbie's hand, as he ran into the street.

But they weren't quick enough and neither was the driver. The squeal of the tires and sickening thud that followed would ring in their ears for days to come.

Robin and Patrick stood in the middle of the street, staring in shock at their daughter's bloody body lying on the ground, as did the young woman driving the car.

It started out like any other day, but would end as one that would forever be known as the worst day of their lives.

----

**End of Part 1**

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought. -Steph


End file.
